Saturday, December 12, 2009

Leaving a Hole

Coming up on five weeks post-op. I haven't been away from a bike this long in almost 3 years. For anyone that trains with purpose... the process creeps into all areas of your life. The 'training lifestyle' eventually invades your food, your friendships, your schedule, your relationships, your clothing, even your choice of home town. It becomes intrinsic to your personality. Abrupt involuntarily removal of training has left a big hole in my life. I've felt a bit lost at times.

I confess that in the days following the accident; I found myself questioning my desire for cycling. I recalled the informational warning about the anesthesia- "don't make any big decisions today." So I didn't. I've avoided thinking about a return since then. Naturally, many folks have asked "Are you going ride again after this?" I always answered "Yeah"; but it was a reflexive mindless answer. Any return was too far away to think about.

Riding is still a long way away. However, I've begun to think about it. Despite some wavering in those first post-op days, I am absolutely certain I will resume cycling as soon as I'm able. I have concerns about being gun-shy. Taking things slow will be important. But I'm ready for that day to arrive.

I haven't yet mustered the courage to ask doc when I can ride again. Too afraid he'll say something like... a year. That would be crushing. I need to keep my spirits up. But... I've progressed enough that I can kinda piece things together. I figure the fracture won't be closed for another 4-6 weeks. Then I can start weight bearing exercises. I'm guessing around 12 weeks until I'm able to fully support my bodyweight. By then I should be pretty close to being cleared.

It can't get here soon enough!